The courage to make a change

How I kicked off my yoga, mindfulness & motherhood journey…

Change is hard, uncertainty is even harder, and the idea of leaving what is comfortable for the unknown made someone with my personality so uncomfortable. The change I am talking about is leaving my corporate job as an accountant to be a stay at home mom. This was one of the hardest decisions of my life, because I can be a control freak, an overachiever who never had any time off since graduating from undergrad. I went straight into a work/study program where my employer paid for my masters, literally the month after I graduated. I have always done things I could predict and knew I could succeed at. The household I grew up in, I related success to very traditional terms like higher education, a “good” job, which meant choosing the safe option.  This can be one form of success but what about true happiness, what about balance, what about creativity, and waking up and feeling good about what you are doing?

All these years I pushed myself very hard going down the path I thought I was supposed to in my career and if it wasn’t for Yoga and Meditation entering my life I would have continued without stopping to breathe (no pun intended). During my maternity leave I kept debating why I should return back to work: how could I leave a career I had spent 10+ years building, what if I could never enter back in the same capacity in the industry and the list of fearful thoughts went on and on. The other side was much simpler when I allowed my mind to be still it said: money can always be earned later, so can ‘accomplishments’, but right now I really want to experience motherhood full-fledged. Once they grow up, I can never have these moments back. So I was ready to make a change in spite of scary factors like uncertainty, change in finances, and losing self-validation of having a job to fall back on. Trust me, I know how blessed I am to have the option to make the decision to stay at home but even so it still comes with certain sacrifices, as I know it does for every mother no matter what path she chooses. But for me, I trusted my intuition to switch paths from corporate america to being a stay at home mom with my babies at least for the time being.

Yes, babies, we recently had our second child and I am enjoying  being at home with both of them. And in these past two years, I embarked and completed my yoga teacher training to become a certified yoga and meditation teacher, which is truly a passion for me. This is cliched but true, life is too short to not to do what you love, and now I can take meaningful time to figure out whether that’s full time at home, or to be yoga and spirituality teacher, or something part-time in Accounting. Even if I choose to return to corporate America I know the kind of job and setup that would suit me much better now after taking some time off. So don’t pigeonhole yourself and take time to figure out what is right for you, I believe your purpose and calling, can change, evolve, and grow in your lifetime.

I made my initial choice out of courage and tried to overcome the fear of unknown. If you are stuck in some dilemma of this sort or something comparable, one way to make the decision is to find the stillness to connect with your intuition. Without the spiritual practice part of my life, I would not have been mindful enough to make a change that is more fulfilling. I would have been back in the rat race of corporate America clocking in hours for some sense of self-gratification which was definitely ego driven and not true happiness for ME (I was doing it for the wrong reasons but for some it may be the right fit). No one knows you better than yourself and no one is smarter about your life than YOU! So find your best life by making one courageous decision at a time. An honest commitment to yourself, your life and your family so you don’t let life live you but YOU live life. Isn’t part of being an independent, educated and balanced women making your own choice whether that choice is to work or to be at home. Either way, do it with empowerment!